In my class we have traditions. We always buy candy in the Café when writing big assignments, and at our birthday we always bring cake. If I am to be 100% honest this doesn’t fit into my life style, not at all. I must admit that I often say no hanks. Not because I want to restrict my self – but because I don’t feel the need to eat either cake or candy in that moment. Years of eating healthy have cured me from my cravings, and I simply don’t need to have sweets several times during the week.
Most of the time my friends accept me. It is (almost) approved that I bring a big salad for lunch and that I workout six times a week. But when I say no to a piece of cake there will be hell to pay! Suddenly everyone has something to say about my healthiness. ”It’s okay to have something unhealthy once in a while, you know that right?” and ”Oh but you work out so much – why can’t you treat yourself?” they ask so judicially. It is like they immediately think I have an eating disorder or something. Every time I assure them that I’m OK ”Yes I do treat myself sometimes” and “yes I do know that I can eat a piece of cake without becoming fat” It’s like I have to apologize. I hate that.
Some years ago, when I began my healthy journey, my relationship with food did become partly unhealthy. I restricted myself some foods, and it came to effect my social life. One day I sat down and looked myself in the mirror. I told myself that this was not what I wanted! So I changed it.
Today I have found balance. Treating myself is now a choice – not ”cheating”. It is just so annoying that I have to protect and apologize for my choices and beliefs. I don’t judge them for having the cake – so why do they have to judge me?
This is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I accept that people choose differently than I do myself. They can have as much cake they want – that is not my business. I just really wish that they would also start accepting me.